and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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