Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
