My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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