I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
