Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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