She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
