i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this just has baby written all over it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
