Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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