so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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