The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
