i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
