She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
