I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
