he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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