Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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