I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
