I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
