The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
