based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
