Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
