How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
