Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
