I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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