worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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