Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
