He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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