I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
