i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
