yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
