Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
soo... how was my night?
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