i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
