i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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