Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
is that a dick in a sweater?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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