Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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