I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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