This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i love accidental penises.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Randomize
