she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
well most of my day revolves around power hour
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
