we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
