im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
