i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
