This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
