grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
