if you like me you must not know who I am
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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