so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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