is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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