Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
