i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
