Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
