Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
