True but thats because hes a fetus.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
