I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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