He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
