Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Randomize
